WELCOME HOME

Oooohhhh...Em...Goodness! I am back home in Seattle with my family for the first time in THREE years! After a long, stressful airport experience, plane ride and bartender not knowing how to fix the drinks on the menu, I finally touched down in beautiful "Emerald City!" It is simply beautiful here. The air seems fresher, the people seem more cultured, it's just an amazing place to be! I love it. So far, I've just been kickin it with some of my high school friends, the true ones who made it through the years...the ones that I love! Seattle is such a small BIG city that I ran into quite a few people on my first day trip downtown. It was crazy and seemed so surreal to see us all grown out making money, in school, being positive women! Anywhoo, hopefully by the end of my trip, I'll be 20 pounds heavier! Been eating at the greatest restaurants, eating my mom's and grandma's wonderful cooking! Had a Christmas Eve gala with family, friends, food and draaaaanks! My family is a hot mess so of course we had too much fun. It's been crazy to see everybody especially my younger sisters ages 14 and 12 who are taller and almost taller than I am! Lol it's a sad shame, no authority! I visited my great grandmother, who makes the best banana pudding by the way, and just sat and listened to her talk. I love to hear older women speak. She's so wise, plus it's always great hearing true stories about growing up and how life was before I was even thought of and it makes me so thankful for the people who "took one for the team" so that I can be where I am today! Oh, and my grandmother is too cool...with her Blue Drink (Hypnotic) ! She keeps it on deck. She's a G! And I love her for that! Wonder where I get it from? Plus she has a major shopping/ fashion addiction. They say the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree, but frankly, I don't even think it's fallen if ya ask me! Side note: Can't wait til New Year's Eve so I can kicks it for real! L-R My twin + unborn baby (lol), Kiki, Me, & Kenz Oh! And here's an old video that I meant to post BEFORE I made it to Seattle!

Quick to Judge

Got a lot of things on my mind so I figured I'd blog about it to get it off my chest...

I don’t feel like I have to prove myself to anybody BUT myself. I don’t have to answer to anyone but GOD. I would never admit to certain people that I have insecurities because they’re the type of people who like to kick you when you’re down. There’s times when I say I can’t wait to make it so I can look back at the people who refused to help me in my time of need and just laugh. But I know God won’t give me the blessings I desire if I do it for all the wrong reasons and out of spite.
I’m tired of being judged about my relationship. I feel like in the beginning of our relationship, I’ve allowed people who didn’t know anything about him put thoughts in my mind about him to the point where it tainted our relationship. Granted, he’s not perfect…by any means. But I constantly doubted him and never really gave him the chance to prove otherwise. It’s rocky still and I’m afraid that it will never get better. I think we missed our chance.
I’m learning how to be independent and it’s scary. I love my parents for everything they have done. But the one thing they forgot to do was teach me how to take every thing they’ve taught me and go out into to world and apply all those things. I’m afraid of failure and rejection. I’m afraid to take chances, because I’m so use to the safe life. Moving to Atlanta, I’ve learned the hard way that nobody owes me anything and if I want it FOR MYSELF I gotta get it BY MYSELF! People I called my “friends” are not really my friends, even some people who I called family are nowhere near the bond that a real family shares.
I’m finally understanding that life is a constant thing, always going on whether I’m ready or not. I’m out to satisfy myself. I don’t need anybody’s opinion…especially from those who only care to ask how I’m doing so they will have a piece of gossip to share. I have to remember to keep God first because when I don’t, I feel so incomplete. I’m ready to quit living with a childish mind and start acting like the adult that I am. Tired of wasting time.
I’m officially starting over with a new mindset. I can’t make any guarantees about who I will keep in my life. Just know I will eventually get rid of all the bad roots (even the ones that are hard to see) so that my tree of life will begin to flourish and grow to be healthy and strong!

At the Market Place...

Wednesday night I went grocery shopping. I tried to get only the things I needed because it would have been a huge pain carrying all of those bags while using public transportation, but knowing my greedy self, I picked up more than I needed. On my way out of the store, a lady says, "Oh my God, I love those boots! they look so comfortable." I smiled and said "They are, depending on where you're going." From there, we briefly chatted. We said our goodbyes and she left the store. While I was grabbing my bags out of the cart, she walks back into the store and stops in front of me. She said something to this affect, "I don't know why I'm doing this, but God has put it in my heart to offer you a ride home if you need it." I decline her offer. And she continues to say, "You know, there's something about you that's really humble and sweet and i feel like you are a blessing." She then asked if I worked in the area, I then told her I was a student at AIA. She says, " Oh goodness! i have a really good friend who works in the fashion department there. And also, if you're interested, my best friend just opened an alteration shop down the street and she's looking for new hires." Before finishing she goes, " wait, you are a Fashion major, right?" When I told her yes, she couldn't believe it. She gave me the contact information to the store and her name as well. Hopefully, once i go in there and see if that's the kind of job for me, I'll get it. But I'm just thankful for the people God has allowed me to encounter in these past couple of weeks. From a celebrity stylists to just kind hearted people on the street, I greatly appreciate it and am truly blessed.

P.S my little sister called to day and told me she aspired to be like me when she grows up! So sweet!